The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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