Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Michael Bay diarrhea
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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