Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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