It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
