Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
