so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
