He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
