i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize