Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
