He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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