I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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