I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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