she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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