it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i would one night stand the shit outta him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
