You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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