and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
