I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
