you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize