wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
