so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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