I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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