dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Vodka?
Forever.
Your cock deserves a montage
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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