Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
