We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
