Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
