that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
MIDGETS
????
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
