After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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