Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
