tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
