I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
