the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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