he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
