so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
