So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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