It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
