Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize