i would punch a child for taco bell
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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