p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
