you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can I color on your dick again?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
