are you still at the devil's house?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
