she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she peed on how many people?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
