Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You may now shotgun with the bride
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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