Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
