Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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