Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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