that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
