oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
