I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
