he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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