Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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