if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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