You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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