after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
