She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
