Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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