She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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