its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
