when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
