singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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