The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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