My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
