Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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